Navigating Authority: Balancing Authenticity & Agency
We all want to be our “true selves” — the self that is consistent, underlying, and deeply connected to our core beliefs, values, and needs.
So What’s Stopping Us Showing Up Authentically?
If you are someone who is invested in creating an environment where authenticity is the norm, you may be surprised to discover just how many barriers there are for many people.
Barriers to Showing Up Authentically
Lack of Self-Awareness or Understanding — Often times people aren’t aware of their authentic desires, needs and beliefs because they’ve spent so much time conforming to the expectations that they’ve been conditioned to accept.
Fear of Rejection or Judgement — If we fear that showing up as our true selves will lead to rejection or judgment, we might suppress parts of ourselves to fit in. This fear can be especially strong if someone has faced past traumas or exclusion for being different.
Social Conditioning — No one escapes societal and cultural conditioning, which can lead to self-censorship and prevent us from expressing the parts of ourselves that don’t align with the expectations of the dominant culture. The impact is often more pronounced for marginalized or minority groups, who may feel additional pressure to conform to societal standards that do not reflect their true identity.
Internalized Shame — Even if the environment is psychologically safe and prioritizes inclusivity, individuals may struggle to express themselves authentically due to internalized shame or unresolved trauma from past experiences.
Perceived Incompatibility with Success — People might believe that their unique traits (whether it’s neurodivergence, gender or sexual identity, or cultural differences) are obstacles to getting ahead, leading them to hide those parts of themselves in order to fit into the mainstream.
Fear of Change — Just as a suit and tie or a full face of makeup can mentally prepare someone to show up to work, so too can the "mask" we wear in a more conceptual sense. Taking it off can feel not only daunting but destabilizing, especially for those whose sense of self has relied on some degree of conformity.
Challenges to Safety — Sometimes conforming is not done out of comfort or habit, but necessity. In such cases, self-preservation might genuinely require suppressing parts of who someone is in order to avoid conflict, or protect themselves from negative or dangerous consequences.
So What Can You Do About It?
Start by nurturing safe spaces, where we can do the self exploration required for building a strong sustained sense of self.
PLAY - Lean into your passions and discover what your needs and preferences genuinely are, remembering that these can change over time and across contexts.
Understand & Communicate Your Boundaries — Clear boundaries allow us to maintain our sense of identity and align our actions with our core beliefs and values.
Know When To Embrace Adaptability — Be clear on when you are willing to compromise for the greater good and when you feel it is important to respectfully challenge authority and use your voice for change.